To Write Love on His Arms

“The world is a fine place and worth the fighting for and I hate very much to leave it.” – Ernest Hemingway

This post is dedicated to someone who left this world before his time, thinking things that weren’t true, and probably some that were true… if I could have helped you, I would have.

To the family members of those struggling with depression and psychosis, do not take for granted what you have in the love from another. Do not abuse other people, and do not assume you know what is best for someone else. If you love somebody, show it. If they mistreat you, walk away. If you find true love, do everything to keep it. If you feel rejected, there is going to be someone out there who will accept you. Find that person.

“It is better to love so intensely that you lose yourself
Than to hate softly and lose each other”

What was the point in psychiatry damaging and dulling the mind of this person to the point that he killed himself?

To the family of this individual, you can try and blame other people for the loss of your loved one, but in the end it’s you (believers in medication / members of the psychiatric community) who are wrong. It is you who kill people, when you damage their brains and bodies irreversibly with mind altering drugs. Your drugs are not helpful, and they do not correct fake chemical imbalances. Do a tiny amount of research and face the truth. People need support and care, love and understanding. Once you start down the false road of belief that your loved one is mentally ill, there is no turning back. You will become their greatest enemy and perhaps even be the instrument of their undoing.

If you really want to help your family, drugs are not the answer. To prove this, please spend some time on this blog and read each post in descending order. Or go back to the beginning and read chronologically. Or perhaps, get on the web and type in “package insert for ___” and look up the side effects to the drugs you are putting your loved one on.

Psychiatry looks at your loved one as an object, a pile of neurons that they think they can balance with pills. They do not consider the fact that they are very wrong, or look at the evidence to the contrary. It’s only about piling on enough pills to get a submissive patient. Enough to get the person into compliance so that they’ll be let go with new “medication” – that is, drugs. Once that person leaves the psych unit, they are on their own. No pill can fix a broken heart.

Belief in psychiatry is shrouded in egotism, willful ignorance and a refusal to consider being wrong. Belief in psychiatry is the beginning of a surrender of one’s life to people who have your worst interest in mind. If you encounter the 99% of psychiatrists who think pills are your only answer, you’re on the wrong path.

Like lemurs running to the edge of a cliff, modern society has lept full force into a cult of belief in “science” run by folks who only want to profit off of your demise. There is no “anti” in antipsychotic – those are pro-psychotics. There is no “anti” in antidepressants – those cause depression and psychosis. The only thing psychiatry has achieved is to damage the brain and disable the body, to cause seizure activity and to sedate. These effects result in violence and suicide, genetic damage, birth defects, abortions and infant deaths.

Living life sedated by mind altering drugs is not a substitute for counseling, in fact it is a detriment to healing.

In memory of my friend. Gone, but never forgotten.

Children Are the True Forgotten Victims of Big Pharma (In Memory of Effexor Baby Indiana Delahunty 9-13-2008)

Some victims die at the hands of pHARMa, and their stories are never told. Some victims survive, or their surviving families are forced to be quiet about what went on, through the miracle of the modern legal system, where hushing is the name of the game, and talking can get you in trouble. Such is not the case with Indiana Delahunty. Her story will forever be told…

Continue reading:


Why I No Longer Talk To Former CCHR Friends

Backup copy of the scrubbed post linked below:


I’ve been reading a lot on the internet, Wikileaks, message boards, etc. about the numerous abuses within Scientology that for some reason I didn’t care about in the past, and and’s almost embarrassing to me that I did not do this 12 years ago. I was told don’t look at Wikileaks, don’t read this site, don’t read that site, those people are just dumb paid shills working for pharma, etc. etc. After looking at the stories it’s obviously not paid shilling.

I was honored by CCHR with two separate awards for Human Rights in 2008 and 2011, and I have been their biggest defender, all the while the church was abusing the human rights of their own members.

Almost immediately when I first started doing activism regarding psychiatric drugs in 2005 or 2006, Anonymous openly attacked me, labeled me a Scientologist, and put me on the defense, and basically made me want to defend Scientology because you know if I’m being labeled as a supposed Scientologist because I’m against drugs, and drugs are bad, if Scientology was against drugs, how bad could they be? That was my thought process.

The first attack from anonymous came before I had ever even met a single Scientologist, and it was solely because I’m against drugs. Being attacked actually made me want to work more with CCHR since I didn’t understand where these anons were coming from at all. If you don’t know me well, and most people do not, I’ve always been a bit of a rebel and maybe even a little passive aggressive when strangers try to tell me what to do. I guess that is human nature.

The Church of Scientology was something I never wanted to be a part of in any way, never joined, never considered joining… And though I never became a Scientologist, I was openly friendly with anyone who wanted to collaborate with me or help spread my messages. If I could go back and do things differently I would have been intentionally separate from them rather than accepting of them. I’m not criticizing all of CCHR or all Scientologists. There are many good people involved in both. I even named my son for Thomas Szasz, giving him Thomas as a middle name. As I said, I was a big fan of CCHR for many years. A lot of the people I knew from CCHR were awesome people and losing their friendship wasn’t something I wanted.

About a year and a half ago I discovered that L. Ron Hubbard was a Satanist. This was greatly disturbing to me as a Christian.

When I asked my friends on Facebook about their founder’s Satanist roots, all they said was “that’s not true.”

I beg to differ, it is true.

I had tried to defend Scientologists’ freedom of religion for a long time and joked about it online because I believe in the Constitution and in freedom of religion. So when I became a target of Anonymous and other people investigating Scientology in the very beginning stages of my activism, I simultaneously became an unwitting tool of Scientology. I guess that could be part of the effort to discredit anti-drug activists, but I don’t know.

Together with the two opposing forces I was caught in the middle. Either I could be slandered as a completely unstable nutcase criticizing Scientology, or a completely unstable nutcase defending it. I think I’ll go for the first. I’m not claiming to be an unstable nutcase, but it seems like my brief 5-month experience with Zoloft when I was 26 (13 years ago) puts me in the category of people who can be forever stigmatized as such. I am still opposed to pharma and psychiatry but I find it ironic that the Scientology “church” is now being funded for eternity by profits from Humira, while they claim to be against drugs. And they claim to be for human rights and for full human potential, but they’re carting people to death mills to force them into abortions.

I want absolutely nothing to do with Scientology or any religion that has Satanic roots, and if it were true that L Ron was not a Satanist, then why on Earth the church forces people to have an abortion makes far less sense. If it is true, it makes good sense, because any religion that far away from God could easily enforce the murder of the unborn without a second thought.

In fact, the information I began to read about a couple of years ago is the reason I’ve stopped searching for anything spiritual that strays from Biblical roots. Never in my life had I gone so far astray as I did for the past 12 or so years during the most active political time in my life. I was so accepting of other people’s theories on spirituality I got invited to every kind of group online that celebrates spirituality that I eventually realized it was truly a false path. I saw first-hand how quickly people descended into straight up witchcraft while searching for peace. These different pagan based religions actually believe in free bleeding, drinking menstrual blood, performing spells using urine, etc. Basically I had seen enough. All paths are not the same, and all “enlightenment” is not necessarily good enlightenment.

Two years ago, one of my better friends from CCHR, Doyle Mills, and I parted ways because he seemed to be attempting to get inappropriately close to my child, wanted to try and hug and kiss him and didn’t want to leave until he got a hug and kiss all the while with his mouth hanging open for several seconds in a creepy way and his eyes fixed on my child like he was holding back lustful thoughts.

I stayed quiet about this for two years. Then one day, I saw this picture and decided it needed to be sent to the FBI because it does not bode well for that child. After the anon online posted the screencap of the photo, I received veiled death threats, stating that I deserve to die in a fire after losing my child to CPS, which I screencapped and kept, despite the fact that the poster eventually removed the threats from the message board. I’ve given these screenshots to the media. I also reported the threatening post along with the inappropriate naked kid photo to the FBI.

I’m not saying I have proof that Doyle is a bad person or even a pedo, or that he was even behind those threats, but just that I wouldn’t be posting other people’s naked kids on your Instagram.

I had other great friends in CCHR, in Texas, and we were such good friends that many of them I considered some of the best friends I ever had. What was suggested to me when I would tell them my troubles or any issues I was having would always be answered with the suggestion to go to a Dianetics workshop or get ethics training.

What happened after I asked one trusted friend about the online threat about dying in a fire was this. I was reported to my other friend in CCHR Texas despite not having given him any idea that I wanted to discuss this further with anyone. Two days after that I was physically stalked in public (May 16). Then later on, while reporting a separate pedo to the FBI I got a strange phone call 5 minutes after. This same number also stalked me two weeks later after making another follow up FBI report about that pedo, and posting about it online. When I looked up the number that seemed to be stalking me, it brings up a Facebook profile for a man who bears a resemblance to the person who physically stalked me on May 16 in the seemingly Doyle-related stalking.

If this is all jumbled and makes no sense I’ll clarify. But I’m not going to put up with this BS.

If you’re not a pedo, please take down the creepy naked kid photo from your Instagram and stop trying to groom children with hugs and kisses and your mouth hanging open dripping out drool.

And if other pedos don’t like what I’ve been doing, they should try not to make themselves out to be defensive or threatening by sending random Boychat pedophiles to doxx me on Twitter, leaving their either real, or spoofed Jacksonville, Florida and Bedford, Texas IP addresses on comments to my blogs.

You can say what you want about me or people in my family but at the end of the day we aren’t the ones posing with other people’s naked children on Instagram and we aren’t the ones who drool when we look at 2 year olds. So kindly send yourself to an Ethics class or remove yourself from society for a while to get some type of therapy.

Crucial Update: Pizzagate Goes Mainstream, Law Enforcement Investigating


#Elsagate #ToyFreaks #LisaIrwin #ChildPorn #Pizzagate


In a possible forthcoming bust of a suspected pedophile, Law Enforcement and CPS are actively investigating allegations of child abuse and suspected child pornography being marketed on YouTube under suspicious, inappropriate content involving lewd and suggestive role play with two girls who are featured in the ToyFreaks channel.

We believe that this could potentially be two unrelated children living with someone who may not be their real father, and have suspected the identity of one of the girls to possibly be the missing child Lisa Irwin of Kansas City, Missouri.

If you have any information on this case, please contact local Granite City, Kansas City or Federal law enforcement.

This law enforcement investigation came about, in part, as a result of my investigation into the ToyFreaks channel, and it was discovered based on the investigation of Voat, and anonymous 4chan researchers looking into Elsagate, that child pornography may be being traded publicly on YouTube.

For more information, see my article on Read, Wiped, and Blew:

More updates forthcoming.

-Amy James

Do not rely on the legal system to save you and do not donate to this website or any other site unless you really feel called

Occasionally, life gets in the way of managing this website. I suppose after several years I just ran out of things to say. There comes a point when you feel like you’ve done enough and you feel like giving up.

The past couple of years, I felt more like I wasn’t allowed to speak. But as blogs go, as of now, nobody can tell me what to say.

I spent the past couple of years working for a law firm that does pharmaceutical lawsuits. (Note, I am not an attorney) Thus, the majority of my time was spent being frustrated by what was happening to the clients. I used to think I wanted to do pharmaceutical law because that seemed like a great way to help the little guy get justice for what had happened to them at the hands of pharma. But I’ve come to realize there is no justice.

I was listening to the radio the other day and someone said that we need tort reform in this country, something I’ve always been opposed to. As someone who wants to help the plaintiff, in cases like pharma cases or medical malpractice, that seemed like a bad idea. I am tired of doctors and drug companies getting away with murder.

But the radio host was surely coming from a conservative standpoint that stands behind the “medical industry” for some unknown reason. He said that the only thing that really happens is that big law firms make their living on the backs of the big pharmaceutical companies.

What I’ve begun to realize is that the entire economy is about business and not about people. People slave away for wages that don’t support their families, and the people are divided into groups of people that basically go something like this: everything I have, I worked for, I deserve and I am entitled to; and everything I don’t have, I should have, and should be entitled to. Neither group is right.

Tort reform, like a pseudo-immunity for doctors and drug companies, is a very bad idea. The fear of a lawsuit is probably 90% of the disincentive doctors have against carelessly engaging in practices they might otherwise condone. I’m reminded of a statement by my OBGYN when I explained my stance against a specific hospital that expressed a desire to circumcise my newborn. “If they do that without your consent, that’s assault.”

This brings me to the point of this post. A psychiatric drug can be an assault on an unwitting patient. Consent is required, and that consent needs to be informed consent. Are there any people out there who would willingly take a psychiatric drug if given the information that a psychiatric drug may kill you, kill your child, or cause your child to be born with birth defects? No. I don’t think you’ll find anyone who would do that willingly.

Do drug companies need to be held accountable for assaulting their victims? Absolutely. Will they? Not a chance.

The radio host I mentioned earlier was correct – the big law firms (both plaintiff firms and defense) make a killing on the backs of the big pharmaceutical companies. But the people who deserve the compensation are not the big law firms. The people who deserve the compensation are the victims. Are they getting this? I do not think so. Will they ever get it? I highly doubt it.

Why do we continue blindly supporting a government that does absolutely nothing but enable the drug companies to continue poisoning the people? Why do we get so caught up in left vs. right instead of We the People versus those who intend to do us harm?

There are basically two choices in medical care – listen to your doctor and keep taking every pill he gives you, or educate yourself and prevent massive harm to your family. I’m not saying that doctors don’t earn their degrees and they don’t know what they’re talking about. I’m saying that the majority of new drugs are there for profit and not to help you. You may need to take some of them, you may even be better off for doing so, but too many of the people I talked to over the past few years weren’t awake to what was going on with them. For the most part, people are clueless about how to get off of psychiatric drugs, and that they need to get off of them, and this applies to many of the other unnecessary drugs in their lives as well. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve met who were on so many pills that they could barely hold a conversation.

The legal system is supposedly there to help you when something goes wrong, but there are no guarantees. The compensation you get when your baby dies and it was caused by a drug may never come, and if it does, it could be meaningless and pitiful. But I can’t think of a price that would compensate someone for their lost loved one.


It makes me absolutely sick to see people I know well who have dedicated decades of their lives to exposing the pharmaceutical companies being sold out by people who have no idea what they are doing. I’ve solicited donations on this site but hardly ever received them. The entirety of the support that has gone into this website has come from one of several people – either myself, my ex-husband, my parents, or a couple of the donors who are actually victims who want to see this work continue.

I’d love to be able to go back to the times when I had endless days to blog and attack misinformation online, but that’s not likely. At best, perhaps one day, I’ll figure out a way to create a better website, one that is searchable, that functions like I want it to, and enables the information that is on the site to be more accessible.

I just want to make it very clear right now, that this website does not exist to solicit donations. It doesn’t even exist because of your donations. I’ll continue publishing in the future as time allows on a free blog website if I have to, no matter what.

I do not think anyone should donate to any website or cause unless you are personally acquainted with its owner and you know the money is going to something good. Do not donate to a website where the person who runs it charges $1500 a page for expert testimony. They do not need the money. You’re better off sharing the link than giving them money. Keep your money for your own family or go donate to a food bank.

My computer is dying, and I have to get back to my family but since this is my blog, I get to ramble if I want. That is all I have to say for right now. L8R.




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